A wise man once told me,
"Cooper you're a great actress,
You can hide your pain,
in your words,
in your actions,
in your face.
You can hide your lies
in your smile,
in your touch,
in your voice.
You can hide your fear,
in your attitude,
in your laugh,
in your writing.
You can hide most anything,
most anywhere.
But you can't hide any of it in your eyes.
They will always be the thing that gives you away.
They are always open,
always honest."
Maybe that is why I don't look people in the eyes often.
maybe I am still hiding parts of me.
I can act like its all ok
and I can hold it together.
I can laugh off my fears
and smile through my anger.
But I cannot look someone in the eyes.
My eyes are sad,
I hear that often enough,
and I can't hide that.
People see that saddness
that pain
that anger
that fear
written so plainly there
and then they want to know.
Asking questions I can't answer.
Wondering why I try to hide it from them.
I don't hide it from anyone,
it is right there in my eyes,
maybe that is why people don't look me in the eyes.

09/07/2003

Author's Note: Just sitting here thinking about things and stuff and life and all that jazz

Posted on 09/07/2003
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