dear sister,
my head is swimming.
i'm a goldfish again.
all these things are
taking their toll on me,
and i'm washing away, corroded.

do you know where the sunlight has gone?
did i pull the shades again?
i'm wondering if i'll open my eyes,
or if they'll be forever swollen shut.

rarah, i've been drinking again.
i can see my reflection in the amber pools.
i wonder how long i'll stay afloat,
wonder how long i can hold out.

why does the world have splintered eyes?
i see nothing but ghosts and villains.
everything is closing in,
my nerves announcing their wear.

i'm starting to panic,
the night watchers keeping quiet tabs.
i have to bribe them, i think, to breathe,
or maybe i'll wallow instead.

sister, help me find my light.
the delusions and misconceptions
are breeding holes in my waxwork,
and i've been ruined along the way.

09/02/2003

Posted on 09/02/2003
Copyright © 2024 Rachelle Howe