How can you tell...when it might be time to separate
When things just don't seem to "click" anymore
And you argue more than you enjoy each others company
When is it time...to stand on your own
To face the world alone...without his help
I never could have imagined that we'd be so different from each other
That so many things that were important to me...never even mattered to you
Now I sit here wondering...Can I move on...without you by my side?
Can I walk away and never get to look into your eyes again...or feel your hand in mine...your lips on mine...your arms around me?
Can I never hear you tell me that you love me again and not let it affect me at all?
Can I just throw away our memories...this past year and a half together as if it meant nothing to me at all?
Or should I just hang around...
hoping you'll be neater...
hoping you'll stop killing yourself with those damn cigarettes...
hoping that someday...I will be just as important to you as "going to the gym" or "hanging out with the guys"
hoping that if you had the choice of doing one of those two things or spending time with me...that you'd choose me without even having to think about it
hoping that saying "I love you" to you 20 times a day will not annoy you...but make you feel loved and wanted and secure with yourself and with me.
So here I am sitting here and asking myself...
How will I know when I've had enough...?
When will I figure out that you will never change
And that perhaps it might be better to turn away and not look back...being grateful for the time we had together, but never mourning the future that will never be...?
When will I see that our two paths in life are getting further and further apart?
How will I know to walk away...?
How will I know when it is time to say good-bye?

08/17/2003

Author's Note: To Todd...How I have been thinking lately...even though I still love you...and always will.

Posted on 08/18/2003
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