I just left.

tugtugtug,
a ten
minute drive, and
i'm at your side.
pretty sad when i walk into the Place
and the whole staff gathers to me
throughout the evening, leaving their tables
neglected...
even more pathetic is it's friday night and
i'm choosing to be there, rather than at one of the
hop-'til-you-drop clubs i had been ordered to
make a cameo in.

oh, my soul, how i worry for us both.
part of me wishes...
well, fuck. see, i'm starting to
clam up and even in my writing
i've begun to censor these letters.

too easily i raise the white flag.
perhaps i'm all too aware of the emense pain
i could undergo. how selfish.
aside from total heartbreak,
i have nothing to befall.

nothing.
nothing i haven't previously lost and regained.
you, though...

last year this time
i was licking the salt from my wounds.
she left me desolate, yet, here i am,
loving.
this is worlds apart, however.
a dear sister told me to let go, and be.
but such is not an option.

i've been made a liar!

(i said i held you in too high regard
to entertain these things,
yet here we are, entangled.)

01/28/2003

Posted on 07/28/2003
Copyright © 2024 Rachelle Howe