I can't understand why I want to run.
More contained than I've ever been
I feel the need to burst the door open wide
breathe in the cold dusk air
and
just
run for it.
I want to just run
and run
and run
and not look back
and not care where i'm going.
I want to run through the silence of my quiet street
and into the rain.
I can see my self bolting
just going and going
with the world blurring at my sides
my eyes on one tiny point
far
far
away.
I want to run and never have to face tomorrow.
Never have to be here today.
I want to scream from the rooftops
and not hear a single sound echo back to me.

I feel so, contained.
So tied up.
and so tired.
Like the longer I stay here
the more and more drained I become.
Like I'm putting my energy into that which won't help me.
I'm drowning, suffocated in oxygen.
It's an odd odd feeling.
A very violating one.
Like I can't get away.
People and sounds are everywhere.
the lights around me are blinding
these letters are stamping into my retina
as they spring from my fingers
and onto the harsh white screen.

God, how I want to breathe in cold air
in the silence of nothing and no one.
I want to be no where.
Maddening, isn't it?
Not wanting to go
and needing to just run away.

07/02/2003

Author's Note: I really really want to jump out my window and run...

Posted on 07/03/2003
Copyright © 2025 Trisha De Gracia