put the letters aside
left me lying here lifeless again
my limbs can barely move
only to type these pathetic words
so that maybe i can put to sense
how much i want to just take a knife
and gouge my heart out.

maybe then i don't have to sit
here everyday in this pain.
as much as i deserve it,
i don't think i'm going to make it
through another day looking at you.

glance through the bathroom door
reach the porcelain sink
stare at my blue fingernails
and slowly lift my head
but i can't see my reflection anymore

i don't know who i've become.

06/04/2003

Posted on 06/05/2003
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