You made the world your own
in spite of words that cut and sliced.
You took what was never there
and turned it into inspiration
turned it into tireless wonder
you were a god
to me
at least.
And I remember words exchanged
late at night
until 4 in the morning
telling me,
-drowsily-
of lovestories,
paperbags and marijuana jones's
things I couldn't comprehend
way-back-when.
A free spirit
that none could tie down
you straightend the rainbows for me
always after
but it was the rain that beat me
the rain and the grey
of your sweet-turned-sickly words.
Those two I remember
above all the rest,
above the reverse metamorphisis
butterfly to crawling worm,
above what you tried to force me to do.
You'd scream your hate into me
I wouldn't serve you
(I never would serve you, you pig)
so you busted my eardrums
and busted my confidence
broke me down to analyze
to try and take me
piece by piece.
I remember the rain
pounding the roof
when you tried to-
hell, I can't even say it
you tried to do things that I wouldn't allow
you tried to use words,
when words wouldn't work
you tried even worse
I just wouldn't give in.
And still
Ha! Still!
I clung to you
needy
parasitic
til you cuz me off
pushed me out
the grey overtook me that day.
I was broken.
You broke me.
You inspired me.
you made me who I am today
without your false love
my false hope
our false friendship
I wouldn't be me
I wouldn't be happy the way I am now
and so thank you.
Thank you.
Your hate burned
but the scar tissue's
saved me.

06/04/2003

Posted on 06/05/2003
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