Bambi was a prostitute who hobbled down the street
She'd flash her only leg to the businessmen she'd meet
They'd see the other hookers, who were so well-endowed
But Bambi got the Benj'mans cuz she stood out in the crowd

"Hey there, Stumpy Mama," the Japanese man said.
"Come hop into my Civic and I'll pay you for some head!"
Bambi sat inside his car and crossed her only leg
The businessman got off right there just starin' at her peg

A couple men were bored downtown - just lookin' for some fun
They saw Bambi standin' there and knew she was the one
"What's it take to let us both plug up your two holes?"
Bambi charged 'em double after sittin' on there poles

Bambi did her duty well, knew how to run her game
She wasn't just a prostitute - she had a damn good brain
The other hookers saw the business she was doin'
The cut off their legs too so Bambi wasn't rulin'

Bambi chose to pack it up and set sail for a new life
There she found a pirate and became his one-leg wife
She loved him from the start even though he was a crook
For he not only had a peg leg but a shiny, silver hook!

05/08/2003