Pond'ring it all
this should be the last
the last look
before falling
away from you all.
I took it all in
every word that you said
and the thoughts that soaked deep
into everything you ever made me
you've changed me
you've made me
a little more weary
of life and of love
and of how my mind changes
when faced with
blunt strangers
who've fallen so deep
behind walls of eyelashes
lids shut
and I'm open
I'm naked
I'm waiting
you feel it?
my fear
etched close
right under your fingers?
Scared of losing all over again
but willing to try
to hold on to the fire
to bottle what's earned
with tears and the infinite
lasting impressions on people
run greedy and needy and human
run through me
take all of me
take it away
I'm sick of just feeling
I'm sick of the screaming
The eyes never cease
to burn into my flesh
and I cringe
as I thrust myself forth
from one pair of arms
and cling to another.
It can feel so alone.
It doesn't let up
So I write and I let it all out
freeze a moment in time
freeze a piece of my mind
Just unleash the chained beast
that's been waiting inside
I'm not whole anymore
I'm not lovely
i've let it all go
between sips of the never
a glimpse of forever
And whisperings of so-sweet nothings
I believe that I've lost
all I had
to begin with.

05/03/2003

Author's Note: I had to call it Ashes....

Posted on 05/04/2003
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