When we are finished here, this poem will not be about you. This poem will be about
everything else,
but you.

This poem is not us walking hand in hand up the hill behind K-mart. It is not your car,
pulling over for gas smiling at me waiting for you inside.
In this poem we don't talk online every night.

It is not memories of us holding each other...
Or us going to so many different places and waiting patiently
Or not so patiently for your car to get fixed.
It is not your hand on mine
your hand in mine, your hand pulling away.
In this poem
there are no memories of late nights in restaurants.
There are no nights of passion and emotion that I couldn't find anywhere else.
There is no me and you...together...No not in this poem.
Not in this life.

This poem is not about us.
This poem is the sky torn open
the clouds scattering like birds at gunshot.
This poem is me walking alone...staring up at the stars we both used to look at...wondering who you are with now and what you are doing.
Are you fucking happy now?!
Once, but not in this poem, I thought I saw you walking towards me.

It is me
not so happy that I don't need you anymore
It is me not so glad to be this free,
It is me pretending to not think about you
When deep down I know I still do

This poem is not Friday night, driving past the pothole or the scenic overlook on the new highway...
Pretending I don't remember you and I there
Pretending I never thought about the fourth of July, last week, and cried.
I still think about it, as if I were there again,
as if it is the answer I needed all along.

This poem is not about you,
any fragment,
particle,
percentage.

This poem is me a little offbeat,
repeating the same thing over again,
like broken records, like mothers, like spring birds. I keep trying to make it real, I keep saying
"You never meant a thing to me"
"I never knew you, anyway." "I don't even care about you,
at all,
No...not at all."

04/28/2003

Author's Note: This poem is something I found two years ago on Pathetic.org and re-wrote it to fit my life at the time. I can not remember who the original poet was on this site, but if anyone finds a poem similar to this one, let me know, so I can give that person the credit he/she deserves.:) My version is about my ex b/f. Enjoy!

Posted on 04/29/2003
Copyright © 2026 Melanie A Bennett