Snoring
Grunting
Yelling at 4am...
The traits of the beast run strong in my house
Drink
Smoke
Lie
Waste your money on pot
What did your father do to you to make you this way?
In the last 5 years
We have probably exchanged 50 words
Why?
The gulf is there
I know we both feel it
But day after day
We both continue to ignore
The beast that continues to widen the distance.
You know I love you.
I know you love me.
Why can't we show it?
Why can't we express it?
Why do you put all the energy and money you have into your boat
And not me?
Not my mom.
Not my sisters.
Maybe it's too late
I'm grown up now.
You destroy yourself with drink
You may die before I can look inside myself
And find the words to fix us,
and be a family again.
I have always promised myself
I will marry a man who talks.
I will marry a man who shows emotion.
I will marry a man who is a good man like you
But proves it with actions and words.
The beast in my house
Is snoring on the couch.
I wish I could shake him.
I wish I could hug him.
I wish I could talk to him.
I see my friends with their fathers,
How they talk, hug, and love
And it makes me sad
And envious.
For all I have is my hidden feelings,
And the beast
That destroys the bond
A little more each day.

04/24/2003

Author's Note: Things I have needed to get off my chest for a long time...

Posted on 04/25/2003
Copyright © 2025 Madeline Pestolesi