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I want to be sick

by Vikki Owens

I want to be sick, I want to hurt,
I want the hate to spill over the outside.
I want the hate to bleed through my skin.
I want the rotten to be a physical thing.
I want the ugly voices to be LOUDREALINSISTANT. (babble that doesnt stop doesnt make sense quiet no one hears it)
I want grinding bones and canvas flesh,
I want his eyes to turn away.
I want to disappoint him,
I want my skin to fly open and let these blackbirds out.
I want to fight all natural instict,
I want to override all programming.
Yurn me over, my wet belly side...you'll see me shaking, hidden bitten knuckles.
I want the bruises to be gruesome.
I will go downstairs and hit the walls untill my hands bleed.
Wash my body over and over till I wash the flesh clean off.
scrub the bones.
disinfect my marrow,
separate all joints,
hear the tinkle of split teeth dusting over ivory fingers
and feel all my skeleton
flake and blow away.....amen.

04/21/2003

Posted on 04/22/2003
Copyright © 2022 Vikki Owens

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Maryellen Lebeda-Parra on 04/22/03 at 04:53 PM

amazing! reminds me of the days i used to dtarve myself, because in my twisted mind, i thought that if i starved long enough i would cleanse my body of all sins, faults, mistakes, etc. then be able to start over clean.

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