you sang to me (viridian words)
{hopeless then and hopeless now}
i beg you, sing to me again
those songs (that made me kill)
those songs (that made me die)
unwound yet intertwined
those harmonies felt (as much as heard)
oh you (so wicked)
oh you (so beautiful)
{hopeless then and forever now}
sing to me again (your lavender songs)
in crimson (running) tones
wake my dead
and make me (beautiful)
make me (wicked)
make me everything
(i ever wanted you to be)
{because I'm hopeless now}

now i awaken. now, no dreams do i remember. all is ever-waking now. never
fully. never dreaming now. hopeless now. wretched now. skinless, numb and
sometimes-desperate now. and in this soundless void i know: now has ever
been. now will ever be. now will i find you again. now will i lose you again.
and now, now i am. and someday, i will be again. when all is viridian. when
all is crimson again.

clichés teach many lessons
hindsight is always 20/20
experience is the greatest teacher
pain and pleasure the greatest experiences

and i,
here suspended
in this false-now
this hopeless
past-far-away and
future-frozen moment
i sift
through shred-photo-memories
trying to recreate the face
that taught me the most

but all i can remember
is crimson
and viridian
and those soft, soft words
when "then" didn't matter
and "now" was ripe with hope

04/16/2003

Posted on 04/17/2003
Copyright © 2024 Richard Paez