The past showed up the other day
walked right in my front door
and joined the party going on there
for a while I ignored it
all the while wondering
who had been so careless as to invite it.
As the night dragged on
more people became my past
taking on its form through the drink of choice for the evening
and I tried so hard to ignore it
but then they started
they mimiced all the old patterns
all the old moments
and I was helpless to defend myself against them
my bodyguard stood ever ready to defend me should I need
waiting on my right side
and my knight in shining armor
sat on my left
comforting
soothing calming
and I couldn't help it
I shut down
it was my only defense
so these two stood vigil by the empty shell of a person I became in those hours
I don't think they even really knew what they were guarding against
but they held me up
and I survived
by the love and strength of my friends I managed to live through it
my past left at two in the morning
and I curled up with my knight in shining armor and fell asleep listening to his heart beat
knowing full well that it was that heart which had made me safe that night
and knowing full well it was that heart I would do anything to protect so long as I have breath to give.
Knight in shining armor
reguardless of where life takes you
or me
or us
I will always be in debt to you for your service
and shall always run to be by your side
should you want
or need me to be there.

03/31/2003

Author's Note: Saturday night was a little bit of hell right here on Earth but I have some of the greatest friends and the absolute undisputed best boyfriend in the world so I made it through ok. Thank you all of you!!!!!

Posted on 03/31/2003
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