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not tonight
by Emily G MyersI doubt every word he says
and wonder how many times
he's promised these things to others
the way he looks into my eyes
and whispers that no one will love me like he does
maybe he's right
maybe he's right
and maybe I don't want love like his
and he wonders why I cry so easily
wonders why I don't want to come over
not tonight
not tonight
easier done than said
his hopes are my wounds
causing suffering
my heart faulters
and skips beats
because it's not so easy to doubt every word he says
and maybe no one will love me like he does
so I sit
my thoughts hit every point of light
to avoid the conflict I know is on its way
can't stop what's on its way
can't stop at all
my heart from spinning or skipping
not tonight
not tonight
I can't stand any more of his love tonight
yes, I know, no one loves me like he does
and maybe that's the way I want it
maybe I don't want love like his
maybe I'm already getting enough
maybe the other is already more than enough
staggered walking, breathing
I want you to know
that I could never love you back
not tonight
not any night 03/12/2003
Author's Note: So what's happening is a disconnection. Things that I really, really want to escape. Or people, maybe. Promises and whispers and songs over the phone. They're like stabs to me. And, you know, I'm totally content with what I have. Couldn't be more content. I love him... with an "l" even. So this is sort of a final goodbye. Emily finally putting her foot down and saying "not gonna happen" with authority. What I should have done in the first place.
Posted on 03/12/2003
Copyright © 2025 Emily G Myers
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