Spring hopes eternal

For some boy to save her

From her mad world

Of over-doting

And under-caring parents

And love shared only

In the night, alone,

With thoughts of boys

Who never were, and

Might not be (she fears),

Because: her nose is too large;

Her skin too splotchy; her middle too

Round; her breasts too flat;

Her hair too frizzy

And besides that…

Her voice is too soft, her opinions

Too crazy, her academic credentials

Too pronounced to let anyone

Get close who isn’t a Registered Nerd.

Spring hopes eternal

She has found new blush, new shampoo,

New Neutra-Cream to clean those pores

(And of course, her hopeless, hapless heart)

She imagines herself: a vamp, a tramp,

A Britney ‘ho, but looks into

The looking glass and only

Sees the mousey girl

With the overlarge

Dark-rimmed glasses;

The canines with the overbite;

The smile a little too crooked

For anyone of consequence

To ever turn around and notice her.

Kellie Osbourne

Without the fame, she moans

To her best friend, Adrianna

To whom, she has confided

She is going to the peace rally

Next Saturday in hopes of

Getting a little… piece

Wink, wink!

Spring hopes eternal

In her pink-frilled bedroom

Looking askance at her Barbie dolls

As relics of her all too

Foo-foo childhood

While thinking to herself:

What do I really have to do

To get myself a Ken

And she scribbles poems there

On the legal pad

And sketches hearts on her sketching pad

 While giving hours to ponderous verities

On the phone with Plato’s sisters.

Oh life is so miserable! So tough!

So loveless! So devoid of fun!

And tomorrow she is going to

The beach, and Saturday a party

And Sunday to the ballgame

With her best friend’s brother John

But damn,

It’s such a bleeping bore!

Spring hopes eternal…

And her very normal life

Goes marching on

03/05/2003

Author's Note: The reference to Ken is entirely coincidental and the fault of Mattel, Inc., not mine..:)

Posted on 03/06/2003
Copyright © 2024 Ken Harnisch