there are a million girls just like me
there are a million girls better than me

does she listen to Tori Amos?
does she grind you when you dance?
does she have a long-distance boyfriend?
does she tease to the point of pain?
does she accept the drink she's given?
does she cut herself?
does she touch your knee?
does she call every day?
does she cuddle with you during a movie?
does she cry every night?
does she move across the country?
does she trip on the sidewalk?
does she plan for her future?
does she dye and fry her hair?

how could I be anything special to you?
you could always find a girl to fill in for me

does she live in Virginia?
does she hate to fly?
does she think Bjork's a genius?
does she laugh at Mystery Science Theater?
does she wish for death?
does she stake her claim?
does she hate you so bad right now?
does she take a puff of your black and mild?
does she slam the door?
does she war with other girls?
does she bring a backup date?
does she dance without persuasion?
does she sport a Caribbean accent?
does she make her own money?
does she date a dark-skinned boy?

there are a million girls for you

does she say I love you?
does she sleep around?
does she reveal her heart?
does she take off her shirt?
does she tell the truth?

every single day
and with every declaration of love I hear
I see how utterly boring and replace-able I am
I would never want to be a pretty girl
and I wonder how they survive
constantly reminded they're just one of millions
there are a million girls just like me
there are a million girls better than me

03/04/2003

Author's Note: Going back through this, I think it's necessary to point out that I'm drawing from a lot of girls involved in my life. This is me, Ashley, Chareice, Jess, maybe a bit of Muffin, and... oddly... Koye. Yeah, Koye's not a girl, but somehow some of his characteristics ended up in this. I think it's necessary to point out and acknowledge these people for who they are in all their gloriousness. Maybe Chareice hates me for taking Eric... maybe Jess hated me for dating Tommy... maybe I hated Muffin for existing... but I have to see these girls as real people who have real feelings. And each is beautiful and perfect. Yes.

Posted on 03/04/2003
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