i could never tell myself i'm not good enough
for anything, gut myself like a fish,
exposing my insides for all to see.
i don't have that sort of open vulnerability.
and i am not naieve. i choose to believe what
i choose to believe regardless of how it may
seem. and i am not sweet like sugar,nor dainty
like flower petals. if you leave me in the rain
i will not catch pneumonia, or melt away.
i will only get wet. and probably pissed off
unless i'm feeling invincible that day,
then i might just laugh. and/or plan a counter-
attack. no matter how much the rain stings me
beating on my back. and although i do have a
tendency to be an open wound at times,
saddened and hurting, cursing and crying
in no way does this mean i've given up and in
to dying. because i am able to heal, am able
to climb my way out. i know there is a light
in the dark but it's important to me to sometimes
pretend to doubt. it brings me an edge,
a strength i have to hold so that my hopes never
fly too high, my nightmares never go too low.
so that at times like this when someone like you
makes me question everything i am, i can roar
like the lion and i can be sacrificed like the lamb
but still breathe through everything, still
breathe through it all. because walking upright
will never be good enough if you never see the
importance of knowing how to crawl.

01/28/2003

Author's Note: just because it felt important enough to say, or in case i ever forget. perhaps you could remind me.

Posted on 01/29/2003
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