i don't know what to call this now
calling you at odd times
buzzed & lonely again
seeking heartfelt confessions,
settling
for just about anything.
this resembles punishment of sorts
calling you up to again be let down.
having that knowledge already
in shaky fingers dialing a number
i never would allow myself to memorize.
for fear something would change.
change into something not too unlike this.
though this hasn't made its way into
all of the doomed grooves, only the ones
that were important enough to me to keep
for awhile.
well, until you came along anyway.
but now i've broadened it a bit to make
room for you, hoping you will atleast
fill one hole, one hope, one need.
you know, i find it hard to sleep without it.
so now, i'm expanding it just a little more.
hopefully something of yours will find its
way in... but not like that.
please don't let it be just that again.
noone can survive on sex alone.
regardless of how many times
you've gotten me off and
made me think so.

i just wish i knew what to call this now
calling you at odd times
you saying everything is fine.
and me NOT saying it isn't, it isn't.
it isn't fine at all.
noone can survive like this alone
regardless of how many times
you've said everything is fine and
made yourself think so.

01/28/2003

Author's Note: ok, im holding my breath and tapping my shoes together 3 times..again & again....((there's no place like home)) and i'll learn. eventually i will learn but heres another wish tossed your way. how many is that now? or have you stopped counting? or did you ever really start?

Posted on 01/29/2003
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