I saw today in my mind,
a reflection of the world
the world I used to live in
the world I live in now
the world I found him in.
Even in the darkness I found him
though I don't know how or why
one of those random young gentlemen
thrown into my life
making me believe in fairy tales
and eventually leaving with a piece of my heart.
not sure how much this one will take
not sure how much more I can give
not sure how much I can stop him from having.
I wish that reflections were more than just images
that they were real
not just ideas of how things seem to look
but a reflection can't tell you about the past
or the truth
or the way things are in my head.
wish I could see more than just a reflection tonight
wishing I could see him for real
and let him know what he meant
what he means,
but he isn't here
not now
maybe not ever
so all I can do
is stare at his reflection.

01/15/2003

Author's Note: not really to anyone in particular just the themes of my life I guess. "The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right next to them and know you can't have them"

Posted on 01/16/2003
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