Ladies and gentlemen please take a seat
as you're about to indulge in a tasty treat
I've discovered the only way that at the same time
you can save the whole wide world
have some fun and please your girl
Oral sex is the way my friend
and if you don't agree
Here are the reasons
The reasons that found me
If everyone was going downtown for a tasty lunch
Nothing bad would happen, we'd all smile a whole bunch
Overpopulation would come to a halt because we'd all focus elswhere
No one would be ashamed of what they'd find down there
Half the population would shut up for a while
Because their mouths would be full
The other half would be too busy to talk, lets just hope hair they do not pull
There'd be no need for pro-life vs. pro-choice
because no babies would be made at all
And those self conscious guys would be a-okay
It doesn't matter if they're big or small
And medical studies have began to prove
that sexual stimulation decreases the pms-y mood
No one would have anywhere to go, so gas money would be saved
And hey, the war wouldn't happen because we'd all be too busy anyways
You'd save hardcore on groceries because you'd already have something to eat
You wouldn't have to deal with birth control,
that's definitely pretty neat
everyone would be losing weight either excercizing or sweating it away
I betcha the twin tower's would still be here to stay
If osama bin laden got head every day
And hussein too, man, there'd be no war
We'd all be havin fun, so there'd be nothing to fight for.
There's more men than women so everyone has a chance
Because there are lots of lesbians that like to make their tongues dance
And if there was no war
he gas would be cheaper
and there'd be no demand
so the bills would be low
and it wouldn't matter anyways because the head would be brewing between the orally pleasured body and the mouth down below
so money would be everywhere
and even the homeless and the poor
could take a shower
and be pleasured more
it'd end poverty and starvation
because everyone'd have a place to go
there'd be no homeless bums laying out in the snow
all the cool kids are doing it
you should do it too
oral sex is definitely the thing for you

01/12/2003

Author's Note: yeah so i kinda thought this poem up after having a conversation in which i rationalized oral sex as being the way to save the world, i basically turned the converation into a poem.

Posted on 01/12/2003
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