i'm holding my breath again
playing tricks with suffocation
and everywhere, they're climbing
mountains playing tricks with
height but i could never get that
high and feel free to laugh.
it's all ok i think every other
second after of course every other
drink. it's all ok.
gravity pulls ya know, a force to
be reckoned with and i reckon
it is a helluva long way down,
even for you. don't touch
this is fragile now.
wind & weather & distance and
please don't make me resort to violence.
again.
it's like someone hit rewind too many
times and i'm beginning to be played out.
hold me.
or don't.
it's all the same after a few too many
when all you really want to hold is a
lifesaver in one hand and a killer in the
other. and no, i cannot kick this habit
of drinking and smoking for you.
or anyone like you, but i could come close.
and that, after all, has to count for some
thing. count and now i'm counting fingers
to add up days since i last heard from you.
counting beercans to see how many i have left.
counting on luck and raw determination to
get me through another night
of not being able to
count on you.

12/31/2002

Posted on 01/01/2003
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