i've written you twice
beautifully well drawn out thought out
letters (if i do say so myself)
describing and promoting the better parts
of me to appeal perhaps to the better
parts of you. and during my typing and my
thinking and my designing (ifyouwill) i
took several cigarette breaks and just reflected
on all that i had to say
and

what it would make you think, or better yet,
what it would make you feel. i guess in a way
i was trying to sell myself and was kind of
content with all that i had come up with,
and while caressing yet another cigarette, i
wondered if you would read it through or rather,
read through it. all of it. the shit i had layed
before you as a return for your request to write.
that'll teach ya to ask me to put on paper what
you'd never believe if said out loud.

12/18/2002

Author's Note: he thinks i only say things to try and make him feel better or assure him of this and that, so he says he can't trust me, but he doesn't realise, i'm not that giving if it's not called for...hopefully one day he realises...

Posted on 12/19/2002
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