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Did I ever really love you?

by Phil P Robson

Did I ever really love you
or were you just a vessel to be filled
with conjecture and examined for cogency?
The unfinished papers of half written verse
take over this house and suffocate me
in the memories of this brief affair

Did I ever see your real beauty
or just look into the mirror of my own desires
fascinated by the wonders you spoke of
never glimpsing the grace of your touch
a serial adulterer too scared of the effort of love
but no more can I blame others for my apathy and sloth

Did I ever really feel you in our deepest embrace
or just melt in your arms with a child’s thoughtless love
as passionate for you as a parasite to his host
Dispensing raindrops that fell to the floor
destined to remain there forever in a stagnant pool
orphan from the clouds, long lost eternal mother

But of late an aroma has risen from this mire
like the sun rises on the lonesome traveller
My heart starts to shift as my spine starts to tingle
and I step into this light of a rainbow of notions
desperate to uncover all your spells and your potions

So now I return for your beauty alone
not for the fame of you on my arm
not for the brief intoxication that novelty always brings
and not even for the morality I thought I would find
I’m just here for the words that take me away from this world
Into the freedom of my mind

12/18/2002

Author's Note: *** a bit of a work in progress, any comments / suggestions very welcome***

Posted on 12/18/2002
Copyright © 2022 Phil P Robson

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Sam Roberts on 03/20/03 at 12:14 AM

Brilliant, work in progress?? I agree with Andrea on this one. You speak so beautifully here, the words just flow - There is no need in my mind to edit this poem. It's beautiful the way it is. Very inspiring I must say. I doubt I will forget this. You have expressed your emotions with the deepest passion. Best I've seen in a long time. Very talented my friend. x

Posted by Amanda J Cobb on 10/02/03 at 12:41 AM

Most definitely, keep this as is. Wow, wish my first drafts were this good. I absolutely love the imagery in here, especially the part "Dispensing raindrops that fell to the floor/ destined to remain there forever in a stagnant pool/ orphan from the clouds, long lost eternal mother" - wonderful stuff. Will be reading more of yours, kicking myself for not doing so before.

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