How do I word this?
by Amy Niggel
How do you look at someone
and try to convince them that you want them to leave you
not because you want them to leave
but because you are afraid.
How do you tell someone
that you don't want them to care about you
because you don't want them to get hurt?
How can I look at you
and make you understand the fear that lurks behind my eyes?
that I don't want to lose you
the way I lost him.
I don't want to have another one on my conscience
I don't want to see you in pain,
so I don't want you to care about me.
How can I make you run away
without making you hate me?
How can I convince you that I don't want you to leave
though I am pushing with everything that is me????
How do I explain that I run still from long quieted gun shots?
And more over how do I tell you that only you can stop me from running?
I want to believe you are strong enough,
I want to believe that you will try to hold on when I start my run,
but I do not know,
only you can make me not run.
So how do I explain this?
How do I tell you?
what will it take to make this make sense?
How do I word this??
Author's Note: Not about anyone in particular just my fears about relationships in general. Don't read more into it than what is there there are no hidden meanings anymore because I have nothing worth hiding.
Posted on 12/05/2002
Copyright © 2021 Amy Niggel