I am certain for the first time in my life.
I wish that I could explain what
or why
or even how.
I know finally what I want and I see the easiest route to get it
but I won't take that road,
not now
not ever again.
I do not fear pain this time around,
I do not believe he will hurt me,
I.... I trust him,
so now what?
Well I wish now
I wish that I could explain myself,
I wish that he could trust me,
I wish that he would know
that I would never do anything to hurt him
his pain is my biggest fear right now,
I wish he would tell me the thoughts that lurk behind those eyes
the ones that I hear vaugely in certain words,
see in certain movements,
no one has and easy life
and everyone has a story to tell
I wish I could hear his.
I have learned well that you cannot change a person's heart
you cannot heal it,
time has that privilige to itself.
I am content at last,
knowing that I don't feel the need to hide,
I only wish he felt the same way.

12/02/2002

Author's Note: Yeah this is about you so don't ask silly questions you don't want answers to. I wish for things but I will not take them from you. Do you think I would ever ask for more than I honestly believed you could give?

Posted on 12/02/2002
Copyright © 2024 Amy Niggel