your voice was cold
heavy
a tone filled with
accusations
a little salt
(insult to injury)
but i'm not broken anymore,
remember?
we fixed me.
still,
as i held the cold plastic against my ear
a newkindofcold settled in the pit of my
stomach sickened by your lack of trust
sickened even more so by all of the silent
gaps that kept eating the spaces
you left hanging
that i couldn't bring myself to fill.
we've been here before,
remember?
it's all so familiar
but i pictured you pouting on the other
end and i began to love again.
i never stopped mind you
sometimes
sometimes you make it so hard,
but i guess i do too
and we're even now,
remember?
we smothered my devils and laid
your distrust to rest and i told
you it's ok to love and you agreed
and kissed me and we fell where
we needed to be,
remember?
(it wasn't so long ago, you know)
but tonight your voice...
your voice was so cold
heavy
i felt as though you were here
sitting on my chest
trying to suck the life right out of me.
and after we hung up, nothing was
solved, nothing settled and now
i worry you'll do something i may regret
(just in case you really did forget)
because we fixed me, you see
and we fixed this and we promised
eachother that this was how it was
going to be from now on.
from now on...
remember?
and now i'm left to sit here chasing
Worry away with Hopeful and
giving you the benefit of a doubt.

11/29/2002

Author's Note: unfinished- just can't get it to come out right at this time

Posted on 11/30/2002
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