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(spin cycle) suspended {in jovian skies}
by Richard Paez
between giants hung
and humming
in cosmic
{dis}
harmony
exhausted
and inside-twisted
i take another step-
old muscle ropes unravel
stripped nerve wires fray
and another-
i tumble and cascade
(a mud-slide of molecules
you once knew as me)
{can you put me back together?}
(no,)
i
(was never
meant to be
a joint
venture)
have been spread
across miles
of atmosphere
no hopes
no dreams
just gravity
(vertigo)
and centrifugal motion
suspended
between giants
i am cloud-bands
stretched between
the ground-pull gravity
(of your words and desires)
and the space-pull vacuum
(of the greater universe)
i was never
meant to be
a joint venture)
11/20/2002 Author's Note: This will probably be updated some time in the future. When I first posted it I wasn't sure if I intended on keeping it, but several comments, specially Bonnie's (see below) made me change my mind! (well, the comments, and I got over myself. I have to do that everyonce in a while...)
For everyone who wants to know what ended up happening to mean old Jove, check out this news report:
Mean Ol' Jove Gets His Due
Thanks to Tissi who shared the URL given to her by Daniel who gave Tissi the URL that she shared with me which I thank her and him for. *s*
Posted on 11/20/2002
Copyright © 2024 Richard Paez
| Member Comments on this Poem |
| Posted by Bethany Lee on 11/21/02 at 02:31 AM you should indeed keep this lovely piece...give it a home in this folder, and let us on-gazers admire the sunset in this 'jovian sky' (sorry if i ruined your 69...) ...bad kitty... |
| Posted by Mara Meade on 11/21/02 at 02:53 PM Oh my.... Richard, you were recommended to me by a fellow Pathetic poet... and I see why. The breadth of this is amazing... the relationship of self to the cosmos, the commonalities of "matter", the broad vista you paint and how you have a solid part in it... damn, so sorry about the spinning you went through but it gave us an incredible poem! Keep it - you don't see it as broadly as we do (as my mama jo says, "You can't see the picture 'til you're out of the frame.") |
| Posted by David R Spellman on 11/21/02 at 07:49 PM I gotta agree - this is too exceptional to throw away! Such a deep display and play on macro/micro relationships of cosmic and personal proportions. |
| Posted by Michele Schottelkorb on 02/11/04 at 01:33 PM the analogies between the speaker and the cosmos is simutaneously a breathtaking trip... excellent piece that leaves my pondering if the venture will be whole again... congrats on POTD... well deserved... blessings... |
| Posted by Sarah Graves on 05/11/04 at 08:54 PM Very nice. I liked how you related the cosmos with your own personality. :) |
| Posted by Amanda L Marron on 07/26/04 at 11:03 PM wonderful write |
| Posted by Rachelle Howe on 09/13/04 at 05:26 PM Ooooooo.... *smacks her lips with a bit of a drool.* Yup, that's about as smart as I get today
i <3 how you can extract the blue from the black and still have a flowing piece with the exception of the last lines but even then, it could be tweaked. and i'm with tissi: dun touch it. i'll definitely have more to say here in a bit. other than that, i'm completely jealous in a good way. |
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