Only way to feel alive,
Is to feel the pain coursing through
my body.
Rhythmic with my pulse,
A release,
making me feel like I belong.
Deep within, sighs a relief.

Taking bladed edge and tracing my skin.
Prickles with anticipation of what I’m going
to do to it.
It begins to crave the metal steel coldness,
calling its name.

Piercing the skin ever so gently,
My eyes roll into the back of my head.
Orgasmic pleasure ruptures through my body,
as the blood comes to the surface,
set free at last.

Throbbing pain…
Only if I let it…
Something only I can control…
My little secret…

Again and again,
each cut a remembrance of the day,
of what was beyond my control.
Traffic unavoidable,
into oblivion I throw myself.
Finally satisfied with what was
accomplished.

Removing bandages from the bag
along my side.
Licking my wounds like a grooming cat.
Covering them so that no one else can
see,
or they can take it away from me.

And into the darkness I go again,
until I need to control,
every urge.
To take that bladed edge
to bed with me tonight.

01/02/2000

Posted on 11/10/2002
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