Betrayal is what it comes down to
did I try my hardest
to save you from yourself
and the habits that alienated you
from those you loved?

I couldn't save you
I think I did my best
but still I could add
only 2 weeks more to your life
Maybe more
but chances are slim
Only cars and clothes
are bought old and used.

And I'm sorry
that the last minute pictures
and the tears I cried
and the hugs that you hated
but I gave you anyway
were necessary at all

And I'm sorry that
you probably still don't know
that those were my goodbyes

And I'm sorry that
I won't be there
at the deciding moment
to persuade someone to choose you
the way I did years ago

Maybe it's better this way
missing you so much
but not knowing for sure
able to hope
that 2 weeks was not all
and that you were chosen

But you won't understand it that way
All you will know
is that you were scared
left somewhere that wasn't home
and that I wasn't there anymore

And I wish there was some way
to explain it to you
and make you see why it had to be
why you drove her to it
and why she drove me
to have to make that horrible choice
that was really no choice at all
just a matter of scheduling.

So I chose
and I hope my choice
gives you at least some chance
at another life
because even though I left you today
I will remember
how well you loved me.

Please know that I love you too.

10/07/2002

Posted on 10/24/2002
Copyright © 2024 Amanda J Cobb