An internal struggle,
An eternal search,
For a love that will last,
Without so much hurt.

I gave all I could offer,
It was never enough.
When I offered MY thoughts,
They were only rebuffed.

The dreams that we shared would never become a part of our reality.
The portrait of "us" was permanently marred by the shadows of uncertainty.

You proclaimed your love,
Pronounced you wanted only me in your life.
You said it was I who could be your wife.

Yet there was no effort to become a part of my realm.
A life for us together meant your world, with you at the helm.

Your charisma and flattery worked like charms,
Quickly assuaging all of my alarms.

I bought into the golden tale that you wove,
Of how perfect life would be and of undying love.

Hidden behind the gilded binding
Were the truths that became your story's unwinding.

When our path was clear
You were by my side.
The figure of strength,
An emblem of pride.

When the obstacles grew larger, more formidable
It was left to me to do the unbidable.

You backed away and left to me
The task of making the path clear and free.

To be with you could have been the ultimate cost.
I placed in the balance things that mattered most;
Family, friends and the essence of myself.
All of these might have been lost.

This isn't the love that would nourish my soul.
It wasn't the love that would make me feel whole.

So I continue my eternal search,
And I'll battle my internal struggles.

I know that somewhere on this earth,
I will one day find love that will last,
Without so much hurt.

03/28/2000

Posted on 04/25/2000
Copyright © 2024 Cathlyn Cartier