Doubt nibbled at my fingertips
(Or maybe that was me,
Biting my nails) as I
Watched the darkness swirling over that
Creepy, water-spotted motel ceiling.

You lay on the other bed, seeming
perfectly content with our present situation.
Uncertainty ate away my extremities
(Or maybe my foot just fell asleep--
Damn that lack of circulation) as I
Strained to hear a hoped-for whisper
Breaking the shroud of silence.

You moved (!) and so my heart moved
(exploded!) with hope and exultation.
Then, in subsequent stillness,
someone pounded my skull
Repeatedly, without mercy.
(OK, maybe it was just my heartbeat
Racing out of control,
Made louder by the contrast with the
Silence coming from your bed.)

I held my breath until my lungs
Ached for relief, for air.
So I sighed, relinquished my
Thoughts of warmth and communion,
And resigned myself to solitude.

Disillusion crept over my body
(Or maybe that was the sheets,
Conforming to my shape) as I
Watched the darkness swirling over that
Creepy, water-spotted motel ceiling.

Sleep began to fall eventually,
Clouding heartache with exhaustion.
As my eyes began to crawl sleepward,
A dream, ushered in by the sounds of
Your breathing, settled sleepily into my palm.
(Or maybe it was finally your hand
Reaching out and touching mine).

07/30/2002

Posted on 07/30/2002
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