some say i should death to self
where is the fulfillment in that?

ask, ask, please ask
Where is the fulfillment anyway?

Consider, with me, this
all my life I've sought fulfillment
aggressively,
striving for life through what I could do
believing I'd get life from getting
accomplishing
doing, gaining, climbing, conquering
getting life from people doing
what I believed they should
getting life from things
getting life from circumstances

my thirst has not been slated
my hunger not assuaged

my effort has not produced good fruit
although my things surround me
the love of others does not
and I am unfulfilled

I have pheared death to self
believing I'd die
but I cannot care more for people
than for things unless I die
to what in me thirts for things
more than people
I cannot care more for others
than I care for how others treat me
unless I die to wanting to get life
from how people treat me

the fulfillment is not in how people
treat me when I want to get life from how
people treat me

the fulfillment is in dying to how people treat me
and being able to love others without
my self as a goal
it changes the way I treat them
and it changes the way some treat me

in the some is more fulfillment by far
than in the many who never treated
me like I wanted anyway

it bears good fruit to die to self

I am receivng much much
MUCH MUCH
fulfillment
than ever before

death to self is the compost
that good fruit grows on

07/04/2002

Posted on 07/04/2002
Copyright © 2024 Carl Walker