Not sure if it's real or not
Things don't settle well lately
Holding a private vigil for
things no longer true

Am I dreaming or just looking
at reality with fog covered eyes
Head on the pillow wondering where
ours roads diverged

No apologies will be forthcoming
from you in this waking nightmare
for the lies you've professed
of love everlasting

No affirmation to the validity
of my consciousness
Heavy eyes declare nothing to me
about the actuality of my doings

When I wake I'll blow out
imaginary birthday candles
by myself and wish for knowledge
of some form of repentance forthcoming
despite knowing the futility of doing so

The crucifixtion of my hopes
rivals only that of what I'll soon
see in my mind's recounting
of watching the door close

False calm relaxes the body
but the soul still burns in anguish
Slipping deeper in both despair
and sleep

I should sleep
Thinking only makes it worse
At least then I can pretend

06/27/2002

Posted on 06/27/2002
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