The ashes dangled off the end of my cigarette
and all I could do is nothing
nothing but stare at the sun
and think of lost loves and missed opportunities

One in particular mills through my mind
The constant reminder of this one girl
is there in my wallet
I intend on it staying with me for all eternity

While our physical togetherness was nothing more
than a whisp of time some years ago
she hasn't left my mind since then

A small tear wells up in my eye
but I regain my manly composure
and my friends do not see my humanity slip through
even if only for a brief second

Later that night I look to my dreamcatcher
to show me pleasant times and fond memories
and I get the bittersweetness of her face again
and I know I will never see her again
making it all the harder to endure this sweet torture

My mind conjures up images from long ago
Our two forms as one, arm in arm strolling down the street
knowing exactly what the other was thinking
but not having the courage to speak

Lying on the roof with our friends
looking at the stars
I wished I had expressed my love at that moment
She was the only one who didn't know

I woke up and reached for my wallet
like I had done so many times before
and took it out
Teresa's paper rose

Her modesty was adorable
saying that it wasn't drawn well and she could have done better
but it was the most beautiful flower on God's green earth
It had no color or odor
but it was the most perfect thing I had ever seen in my life
and it came from her heart

My days are filled with anguish
and sorrow filled nights are mine
but when I look at that paper rose
everything seems fine

06/27/2002

Posted on 06/27/2002
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