Love's Choice by Carl WalkerWhat'd your closest friend say about your poetry? she said, "I can't figure out what in the hell anyone sees in your poetry". How'd that make you feel? It makes me feel like a choice do I want to be the pinball or do I want to be the flipper
the pinball: anger that turns to bitterness hurt that turns to despair blame that brings no change to others nor demands it from me dark emotion spilled in words without thought seeking to protect it becomes weakness the soul translucet like cast iron bears no good fruit
the flipper: not having to be angry not having to defend not having to bear a grudge not having to be hurt not having to speak but being able to enduring death it becomes strong feeding others, it fills the bearer like tempered steel the soul translucent bears good fruit
being the pinball comes with birth being the flipper comes with death
i thought, "approval feels good, it must be life" not knowing to seek life from approval enslaves me i thought, "disapproval feels bad, it must be death" not knowing that disapproval is outside myself it does not have to touch inside me
to be the flipper, to be the pinball both come with a cost
the price of being the pinball: being in bondage controlled by energy inflicted by outside of myself spinning off to collide and collide again the pain of trying to protect myself I try but I cannot the pain of not wanting to double hurt but having two (myself and you) giving in to self's desire to pursue being loved but robbing myself of the capacity to love others what a dark trap it buys death
the price of being the flipper is the price of dying to me it is a hard death and the price is paid upfront it buys a powerful freedon a capacity to love even those who hurt me a love which doubles love feeding love within me often birthing love's freedom in others
"What did you say to her after she said that?" i said, "yeah", with a smile and, "can I fix you a latte"
04/23/2002 Author's Note: sometimes, those we love can hurt us the most. that's because our love has a selfish element (I think). I want to learn what it is to love unselfishly.
Posted on 04/23/2002 Copyright © 2025 Carl Walker
Member Comments on this Poem |
Posted by JD Clay on 11/09/02 at 01:59 AM This is like eavesdropping on a couple of philosophers, I especially enjoyed the concept. But I sumise that if love is that complicated I'll have to settle for water, LOL. Nice work Carl. Peace... |
Posted by Susan Q Tomas on 08/10/03 at 09:35 PM I enjoyed your look at the pros and cons of being pinball and flipper. On your author's note, look again at (probably familiar) 1st Corinthians 13. Just my little old opinion. |
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