he'd know.
i'm working on extracting [ ] from me.

every time i see [ ] the
first thing I want to tell [ ] is
"it's okay".
because I like to think I know what [ ]'re thinking.
even though I probably don't.

I only foolishly turned my ribcage inside out
at eleven fortyfive p.m on a friday night.

I forgot that [ ] would be there today
when I stopped by.
I saw [ ] the minute I stepped in and instantly,
the noise dimmed and I only saw [ ]r eyes
even though [ ] were facing the other way.
and there was a moment, a brief moment where I could
hear [ ] laughing. and I shouldn't have. I wanted to say
fuck [ ] and/or
I love [ ]
and maybe I wanted to ask [ ]
if [ ] miss me too.

[ ] came over to me five minutes later, smiling
and [ ] said,
'how long have [you] been here?'
and then [ ] were no longer [ ]
because [ ] had made [ ]
into me.
I was [you].

are [ ] confused yet?
how does it feel?

sorry.
I'm a little slow on the uptake.
I forgot that I'd been in [ ] since
first semester.
I think I blinked at [ ]r question
. or no,
maybe I
regained composure and kept steady eyes on my work
instead of looking at [ ].
and I wanted to say
"it's okay".
but I said,
"a little while."


and [ ] smiled
I thought [ ] might be coming back around a little
like when the t.v. screen fades out and then
buzzes in again
if [ ] kick it once or twice
and [ ]r voice said,
'really? were [you] here
when I was here before? i didn't see [you]'
and maybe [ ] meant
"i'm sorry."

and i wanted to say
"it's okay".

or
"i know" or
fuck [ ] and/or
i love [ ]r smile.
but instead i said
"yeah."

maybe 'cos it's not.