Alone in my sorrow I stare

I begin to notice all of my thoughts
all of my fears and faith fall to one fated feeling
blended and peculiar

I watch the glowing sun and what seems like
a million gray and murky clouds revolving and twirling
in their aimless paths above my head

I feel the barrier of dampened soil,
menacingly, solidly separating me from you

I feel the hole left achingly barren and empty
by your vain attempt to see what treasures
Heaven may or may not hold

The only treasure I seek is
that rare and decidely profound treasure
held by death

Perhaps its attainment shall lessen
my solemn eternity
,desolate forever , shortened by a day

May my constant pain be omitted,
erased, forgotton

I see my hair dance about in violent strands,
awakened it seems,
by the gentle breeze

I feel the cold wind press each
lonely, repetitive tear further down my cheek
til it falls
futile,
to the dead yet thirsty earth

I feel the soulless touch of steel,
firm and unremorseful, on my pale and
tear-stained face

I feel my finger, resting,
poised on the trigger,
in all of it's metallic perfection

I feel each twitching tendon,
each spasming sinew
strained and fervent in its task

I feel the furious blast of blood
as my sadistic, demented mission erupts,
completed and triumphant

I feel the desperate shards
and slivers of bone
spew from my shattered skull

I feel nothing

04/02/2002

Posted on 04/02/2002
Copyright © 2024 Melina Raven Maness Diebold