How can you say you love me
And say such hurtful things?
How can I believe you anymore?
I am dying inside
Don't know what to do
Decisions to make
Before it's too late
Before you hurt me again
You say you are concerned...
That I am not returning to school this year
Afraid I will turn into a "welfare mom"
You look down on people that don't go to college
They are inferior to you
Damn it...if you are so concerned about my education then you pay my tuition
But no...then that would make me a "gold digger" wouldn't it?
I love you
I do...too much
I forgave any other hurtful thing you have said to me in the past two months
But how can I keep on forgiving...when the hurt keeps coming?
How can I sit there and accept the fact taht if your laptop wsa able to give you sex and food that there would be no need for me anymore?
How can I possibly enjoy the fact that your laptop is more important to you than I am?
And you tell me these things...
As if its some sort of joke...some sort of joke I just don't get apparently
I don't think it's funny
I want to feel important...like I used to when I was with you
But anymore...when I am with you...I feel lower than dirt
I feel like nothing I do will ever be good enough to make me important once again
And I find death to be something to look forward to more than being hurt by you again and again
This has got to stop...The pain you are causing me is unneccessary...
Maybe it is partially my fault
I let you think that anything you say to me is tolerated
I tell you that if we ever broke up it would be because you wanted to...not me
I was wrong...I have thought about breaking up with you every time you say something hurtful towards me...
But yet I keep forgiving you...Why?
What the hell is wrong with me?
I let peopel like you walk all over me...
Saying I will be here whenever you feel the need to be with me
Well I won't anymore...dear Myron...I won't
The more you say these things to me...
The more I drift further apart from you
Think about that
You are loosing someone who has loved you probably more than anyone else ever would
I would ahve wlaked the ends of the earth if you asked me to
I only asked one thing in return...
For you to make me feel at least a tiny bit important...
Every once in awhile...

08/15/2000

Posted on 03/28/2002
Copyright © 2024 Melanie A Bennett