To tell you the truth I have no clue what I am writng right now or why I know the when it is 3:28 est on march 15 2001 the how is kindly escaping me as I never thought that I could type fast enough to keep up with my ever racing thoughts. This is not a poem, this is a confession of who I am and who I am not I am me that is the only way I can think of to describe it at the moment. I am a child of a dysfunctional family who will not admit that there is anything wrong with themselves it must be the world around them. A family who tells me I am not part of it then refuses to let me go my own way. A family filled with fear of what I could do if I were to really tell what I know. The quiet one who never said much but heard everything as clearly as if it was whispered just to her and her alone. The one who was going to crack under the pressures of life and never really be anything at all. The one who made it despite all odds and made it in spades with out trying, and who now struggles valiantly and fruitfully to regain that part of herself again. I am not anyone else. I am not what they all wanted me to be and well hell that is thier problem not mine. I am not Erika little miss perfect with her prozac and her girlfriend. I am not a clone of either my aunt or my cousin I came to Rochester because it was where I wanted to be, not because it was where they wanted me to go. I am my own person, even though they do not believe me on that account and maybe they never will. I am strong and beautiful and intelligent and I know this as well as I know my own name. And my father may disown me if he likes, but he cannot take that away from me. I am a Cooper and always will be, that is not a name it is a state of mind and an upbringing unique to my life. And I may have no clue the who what when where why and hows of my life to come or even my life at present but it is that not knowing that gives me the greatest satisfaction of all. Thank you for listening to my ramblings, Sincerely, Amy E. Cooper, child, woman, and part time poet!

03/15/2002

Posted on 03/15/2002
Copyright © 2024 Amy Niggel