Once upon a Time, a long long year and a half ago, a boy met a girl... The boy was Chris and the girl was Megan.... Megan immediately warmed our hearts enough with her inability to keep time and maintain planned events that she was thus dubbed "The Dumb Ho" by my roommate... and it was good. Chris became enamored of her despite her Dumb Ho-ness.... and so he pursued her..

He thought to himself "She's so wonderful, I love her."
And she thought to herself, "He's pretty nice, I can like him."

And so they dated for a time and he was pleased, but she was not... He was enamored of her and she became enamored of another.. Chris was nice, but Ratboy was sexy...

Arjiss: Poor Chris :-( I feel for him
LNjaa: Ah, but that is just the beginning....
Arjiss: oh dear… what happened next?

For you see, here our little tale takes a turn...
Megan pursues Ratboy because she wants his body, and he welcomes her under his evil wing because he wants hers...

Arjiss: *dramatic music*

But in time, she being female, and at least slightly emotive, she wishes for more... A relationship, which he welcomes for a time, but then her demands became too great... she wanted him to love her, and to drive her home to Richland, Tri cities... and he said "Good God, that's a 5 hour drive... be gone psychotic female.."
And so she fought the ending, but he insisted and her solution, brilliant, despicable, was "friends with benefits".. We gasped in shock at her decision.

"What were you thinking?" Was our cry… But she was not deterred...
"He likes me... " Was her pitiful response.....

Arjiss: this story is both sad, and terribly terribly funny the way you’re telling it…

Chris was dismayed, and disgusted, for he loves her... We were disappointed true, but then, we had not the tie to her that he did...

Arjiss:
Arjiss: what happened then?

But, he was forever her friend, and she his, so he was there for her in her times of need, listened to her woes, and aided with her troubles.... But regardless of this connection, she shunned him... In her endless efforts to schedule time with friends, she repeatedly blew them off to be with Ratboy... We all tired of her taunts and so most of us drew away, but Chris remained steadfast. He insisted that his deep discussions with her would one day have a discernable effect.

Arjiss: Poor, deluded idiot, just like me LOL
Arjiss: what happened next?

Then came that fateful day, last Tuesday to be precise, the bitter biting cold should have foretold it... That morning he had spent countless hours convincing her again to change her ways... To stop going to Ratboy, and to remember things she had planned with her friends, that she had been disrespectful and inconsiderate to those she chose to call her closest and only companions.... She nodded weakly in chagrin and swore to change her ways...
There was a crack of portent to the air, I felt it grate inside my bones...
They planned to meet for Geoff's concert that evening, 7:30 was the time... Her dorm room was the place.. then they could be off to the performance hall by 8...

Arjiss: But, tragedy was too befall them eh?
Arjiss: or at least poor Chris

They split their separate ways toward classes and at the appointed time he arrived... and found no trace of her... there was no response from either her room or cellular phones.... he searched for her, desperate to believe that it had not occurred again.. but when eight o'clock rolled 'round he was forced to forgo his search.
He holed himself up in the back of the hall to listen to the show, and forty-five minutes in he saw two figures which loomed large in the corner of his eye... Megan with the Ratboy close in tow.. they hesitated at the doorway, not seeing him where he lay, seething in his contempt for her... they drifted in and found a seat for the remnant of the performance.

Arjiss: That bitch!

You see, I was there on that fateful day... and when the time had ended I met once more with my friend Geoff and I did not feel the chill of evil over my shoulder due to the bitter winter air... But Geoff spoke to it and then I spun to see the Megan and the Ratboy, and not the Chris....
In my surprise I asked where he had gotten to, and why he had not been acquired this evening.. and so I called him to see what had come up... He offered me a ride home so that I would not freeze and Megan suggested that we "all" go get some food... as I had to wait for Chris I mentioned to him that the devil woman had suggested dinner and that it was his call, given his place at the center of the evening's sordid tale... He acquiesced, perhaps out of some fleeting hope that she would apologize for her crimes.... We returned Geoff to his vehicle and then the four of us retired to Shari's for our meal.

Arjiss: You make a hell of a bard

It was a relatively light affair... we spoke none of the important thoughts which weighed heavily on our minds, well, mine and Chris' at least.. For Ratboy had not a care in the world and Megan was content to rest her head upon his uncaring shoulder....

Arjiss: that heartless bitch

We sat, we ate, we barely tasted food... and then we left... returning to our homes, though really, only two of us accomplished this... for on the ride to our locations Ratboy answered Chris' question to Megan as to where he was dropping her off with a typical "She's coming to my place.." Chris bit his lip and steeled his heart away... We left them to make the trek up Ratboy's stairs and disappear into the frigid night... and then he opened up to me and revealed the part of the story which I could not know...
He told me of the morning conversation, and of the 4 pitiless messages he had already left on her cell... And then he poured his heart out to me, yet again, helpless in his feelings for her and distraught once more by her actions....
He fought his frustration valiantly and professed his "good guy syndrome"... But I searched his heart and found a tiny spark of vindication which I fanned into a fertile flame.. I pronounced unto him that she was merciless and unrepentant and that he did not deserve the way she treated him... I insisted that she was playing out the role of the uncaring male and that it was time for him to assume a new mantle... That of the Psycho Ex-Girlfriend. He pondered my assertion and I continued to feed the fire, reiterating all the injustices she had laid against him... He bowed his head a moment and when he raised his gaze he was a new man...

Arjiss: lol...interesting...
Arjiss: what happened then, my dear bard?

His gaze spoke volumes of his tale, it showed the ferocity of the awakened beast.. the Man Too Often Scorned.... Had she not professed her indecision it would have been different, if she had loved the Ratboy, it would not have been the same... but she had scorned him once too often, and now would pay the price of the love she turned away...

Arjiss: *dramatic music* The heel turn!

He decided to teach her a lesson and so he compiled a list of directives concerning her nocturnal activities and deriding her for them... he sugar coated nothing and spared no sympathy at her expense..... All in all, 28 post-its were left on her door... reading "You know, your hobbies are legal in Reno." "If you're sleeping around, you might as well get paid." and "I'm glad that you've met your life's goal to be a living blow-up doll." Among others.... One of her floor mates saw them and was concerned, so she collected them and gave them to Megan when she returned... stating concernedly, that they were "not very nice"... Megan read through the messages left and she was horrified... no one had said such things before and she was perplexed that the one man she had been able to go to in times of need would turn his back upon her... She called distraught and left him a message telling of her flabbergastedness, as she could not see why this time was different... We counseled him not to receive her calls, and he took to his new garb with pleasure and avarice....

Arjiss: bwahahaha he has turned to the dark side!

He returned to her dorm to leave a letter detailing the most recent ordeal with Megan for each of her floor mates, slipping them under their doors so that they understood...
However, they were weak and worried females, and concerned for their homes, they shared the letter with the RA at hand... Who was concerned for them and laid down the law. "He shall not set foot upon these premises, You, Megan, shall inform him of this... The University Police shall arrest him if he does, do not fail to let him know.." So she left another message, this one no less distraught than the first.. Compounding her information as to his restriction with her chagrin that her negligence had loaned out 3 separate keys to her building which they should not have had.. She professed her hope that he was happy with himself and her perplexion and her lack of words to express her consternation at his new ways...
He cackled with glee at the news... Content that now he was ensured of her coming to him, for now he Could not go to her, even if he chose...
In desperation she turned to my roommate, Rebecca, one of her only other friends.. explaining the situation... (as if she wouldn't know..) and how her own mother had also condemned her for her treatment of Chris, her one good friend....

Arjiss: This is high drama... lol
Arjiss: what happened next?

And so the saga waits for it's conclusion... Will she learn the error of her ways? Will she condemn us all for our desertion? Will she find a fire of anger of her own? We know none of these things, but it is the opinion of this humble Bard that she is blind to Ratboy's derision of her and that until the blinders are torn from her flesh, she will not understand and she will persist in these foolish escapades....
And it is my sincere hope that this awakens Chris to her true Dumb ho-ness, and complete lack of worth and that after it all he can walk away with no regrets... and in high spirits from now on...
Arjiss: *claps heartily*
LNjaa: *bows extravagantly*
Arjiss: Hell of a tale! If you weren’t across the country I would throw you some money :-)



I would like to take a moment to thank Lnjaa for not talking to myself, and Arjiss for his timely spontaneous responses and shameless plugs that make this impassioned work the work of honest impassionment that it is.
-The Bard

03/11/2002

Posted on 03/11/2002
Copyright © 2024 Leandra K Brossard