without light (scars)


Sultry darkness, pillows, sheets
though i can see a small and gentle smile
and smooth skin, hands, lightly, no pain
pale and fair angelic one i desire
careful fingers brush my face
pure lips that dance upon me
unafraid, a complete calm
though stormy thoughts and bodies
give the fullest expression of need.

and i fear the morning rays that come,
or the dim shimmer of a candles flame
to expose a ravaged, worn body's flesh
or maybe the fearful angelic's horror...

that acceptance tis a slighty falsehood
that lust is the shade pulled over reasons eyes.





when its important, you feel it deep inside. ever been so ashamed of your
physical self that it runs fear into your soul when it comes time to present
yourself physically?
i am no where near that with anyone, but the possibility does make me afraid.
that and summer is coming, i wish i could get a tan...
but im so ashamed of myself, i think im going to just get a
tanning bed subscription....though the scars will always make me realize
who i am, and where im from, i am so scared of rejection.

though hormones compel me greatly, i want to hold off, and this fear that he would reject does greatly limit me.

02/18/2002

Posted on 02/18/2002
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