It's the end of the world, and nobody gives a damn.
CNN will broadcast live, and some reporter will interview it.
Some nutcase in the City of Angels, will be a good little capitalist and sell t-shirts.
Some idiot with a degree who thinks they're a shrink, will tell how Armeggedon had a bad childhood, so it isn't it's fault.
CBS will run special about it, like a miniseries, or a made-for-T.V. movie, that will boost Neilson ratings during sweeps.
Joan Rivers will host the show, and ask it who does it think is hot this year, while her daughter will make comments about the dress.
Reuters will comment and record everything that is said and done and save it for reference and give it to Funk&Wagner when they redo the Encyclopedia Britannica.
60 will have a segment on it, while Andy Rooney gets to do his share as to what is best to be done.
Hollywood will cash out, make even more big movies about it, with Ben Affleck as the Star, and Paramount talking to Tom Cruse for the sequel.
The psyic hotline will tell you that Ameggedon, too, was dumped, and would tell you that they predicted it all, while sending the bill to your credit card.
Rev. Jerry Falwell will bless Armeggedon, as it is what he always dreamed of, but will still not get rid of the gays, Muslims, Jews, teletubbies, and anyone else that he hates.
Elvis, of course, will be spotted six times in seven locations.
Jimi Hendrix will be, too.
The President will make speeches on how Armegeddon is in cahoots with Iran, Iraq, North Korea, Chinese, Osama Bin Laden, and anyone else his desperate little mind can think of.
T.V. news stations will show pictures, and rehash the same information over and over again.
Some nutcase will file a lawsuit against God for invoking Armageddon, and seven other nutcases will do the same as copycats.
Pinguin/Putnam will fight over book writes.
The Pentagon will launch ICBM's and tactical nuclear weapons against it.
The Army will try to blow it up.
The Marines will try to shoot it.
The Navy will try to sink it.
The Air Force will try to dogfight it.
The Christian Colation will rendevous, and deside that Armageddon is actually in force with Satan, not God, and will try to pretend it doesn't exist, and that it will go away.
Dennis Rodnam will bad mouth it.
David Letterman will try to have it as a guest.
So will Larry King.
Pepsi will try to endorse it, and have it advertized, with Britney Spears and that little girl singing.
The NYSE will split it, trying to bring up it's market value.
Some guy will murder another saying that Armeggdon told him to.
Picketers will march around saying that Armeggedon is bad because the bible said so.
Some small-town preacher will try to burn it down, saying that a certian 12-year old wizard is to blaim.
Rev. Jesse Jackson thinks the white man's to blaim, but he won't publiclly say so.
Some dooms-day cult will kill themselves for it, and no one will quite understand why.
Congress will form a committee about it, which it will decide if said Apocolypse is constitutionally allowed:
1) does it have rights?
2) does it have civil rights?
3) can we tax it?
4) how much more red tape do we need for it?
5) can we cover it up?
Philosophers will start going around asking 'If Armageddon comes and no one's around, does it make a sound?'.
Kids will sitll have to go to school because it's not like Armaggedon is the end of the world, so do your homework or you get detention.
Bob Dylan will write a song about it.
The Irish will drink through it.
Insurance companies will not pay because it is and Act of God, like hurricanes and tornados.
And last of all:
we will write poems pertaining to it.

02/04/2002

Posted on 02/04/2002
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