What are dreams in the first place? Is it a place where you’re supposed to feel safe? To have tormented dreams? To wake up in your own screams? All the beautiful dreams never come true Then when you wake up you don't know what to do. When you close your eyes at night all you can see is black, Then you come to realize that there is no turning back. I use to be able to think when I dreamed I could find the one true love that I have been looking for, Then I realized that true love barely exist so that idea has just walked out the door. Why is it that I am told that my dreams will always make me happy? All that any of my dreams have done is torture me, cause me pain, and make me unhappy. When I let someone I think that I love get close to my heart, I find out that he has lied and cheated so all he has done is torn my heart apart. I use to think that my dreams would be my life, Since I have come to believe this I feel like my heart has been stabbed repeatedly with a knife. When I am told to follow my dreams, I just want to go somewhere far away to try and figure out what all of these thoughts and feelings mean. Whenever I dream all I can see is a Little girl sitting in a corner all alone and scared, She will never get the chance in life, she will never be prepared. No one will talk to her She will always be alone, She will always have to try to take care of herself, She will never be known. No one to comfort her, no one to feel her pain, She is trapped like everyone else, playing a game called life just some stupid little game. There are so many things that my friends tell me to do in order to find true love, I could only wish on a shooting star that I could find my other half that is kind and gentle as a dove. This little girl is on a ledge and is ready to fly, She tries to make a decision about life and death then she starts to see how her life has become a dead end and she decides to silence her painful cries. She has lived her life the way that I have too, Just a scared little girl on a ledge wishing and hoping for the one dream to happen even though she knows that it will never come true. She as I took our lives in our hands when we rolled the dice, Because of our foolish hearts, we are paying too high of a price. My cries can't stop from my hopeless soul inside, It keeps on getting harder to keep on trying to tuck away a scared little girl from trying to run and hide. I was always told that the stars in the sky were the angels watching every move i make, Now I am having the hardest time trying to figure out the difference between what is real and fake. What is the point to having dreams? They only make matter worse that they always seem. The nightmares running through my head, All the blood pouring out of the dead. Sweat running down my face, It is all because I am a disgrace. The tears that I have cried, All the times my sadness has caused me to lie. There is nothing I can do to save my hopeless soul, I feel like I am being put down into my final resting hole. A scared little girl who can't be a second born virgin, Someone who will always be living in sin. What do this little girl and I need to do so we can find what we have always needed to find? What do we need to do in order to find the one true love that will be loving and kind? There is no more time for the hurt or sorrow, I can only hope that it can be better tomorrow. At this point I can only wish my life on a star, Even though I know that I will not get very far. All that is left is to try and save my hopeless soul, I just can't help feeling out of control. The dream keep getting worse as I close my eyes, I can help to wonder if I am seeing the truth or if I am seeing nothing but lies.

01/17/2002