Do you have any clue at all
what this means??
in my life
to me?
No not really
you don't really know me.
And maybe that is a good thing,
I bear you no ill will but
you have no clue who I am talking about
when I say what I have done
when I say I messed up
maybe irreversibly,
that I may have jeopardized my chances
at being happy,
with the one person,
I can honestly say
I am in love with.
You, dear reader
have no clue
when I type the initials A.B.
And tear up with the knowledge of things I've done,
you could not know.
He never will,
not if I can help it,
and if he does know,
I only hope he can forgive me my mistake,
his anger
his disappointment,
blowing it again with this perfect young man,
that is too much for me to take.
I hope I haven't screwed up,
as much as I know I have.
I have no regrets of what I did,
Only with whom,
but you you don't know me
likely never will,
save what you read here,
so know then
as you read this
that I am more sorry now
than ever in my life
I messed up,
and I want nothing so much as to cry,
and I thank you,
dear reader
for lending me your shoulder
to my love,
I am sorry,
please forgive my stupidity,
Dedicated to the events of this past weekend.

01/13/2002

Posted on 01/13/2002
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