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Ode to the Dead Computer

by D. Xavier Bari

Oh this horrible tale of woe!
The mighty NT machine is broke!
At one a.m. two days ago
A shareware bug did bring it low!

Okay, that was corny
But not as corny as that lame-ass
Idiot-made piece of junk I downloaded
That fried my machine like gangbusters
In the middle of the night
So instead of going home to catch some z's
I'm working all night (to my disgust)
Trying to hack into my own machine

Stupid.

A password!
A password!
My kingdom for a password!
When I remember what company
Made that cruddy piece of kludge
Their networks are going down, down, down
DoS? Trojan horse? Worm? Virus?
Who cares?!!!
They deserve them all!

Down, down, down

It's Tuesday
I'm back here on my day off
Just kidding, I don't get days off
Typing on the other computer
Which is worthless only because
The data I need is trapped
On a hard drive on a dead machine
'Cause Mr. NT's still in the netherworld
And the department's Network Admin is still sick
And his assistant (let's call him soon-to-be-fired-boy)
Is nowhere to be found
For the second day in a row

The Horror...The Horror

12/10/2001

Posted on 12/10/2001
Copyright © 2025 D. Xavier Bari

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Cathlyn Cartier on 11/17/02 at 07:28 PM

ROFL... it might not have been funny then, but this is hilarious... speaking of someone who has a pc with a congentive defect... I swear it was created with it...I only have to kick it around once a week or so... hope you finally got everything back up and running

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