The day finally came when I had to say goodbye...
This day approached for weeks.. creeping slowly into my mind...
Knowing and fearing this moment to come..
This split in our paths.. this cut in the tie of closeness...
this split of atoms, the cutting of the cord....
The emotions swirl inside me, I can feel them bubbling up, but I'm such at a loss for a comprehendable emotion to strike with...
Lost in how to feel, how to regain my composure..how to live.. without you.

I stumble through these thoughts, drug down to earth by my heartache, stuffed into this body to deal with this situation.. once again... Pain of loss..

I know your not gone, in the bad sense, I know your not here, in the good sense..
I know nothing.. and I know that much.
I wish I had the answers to go with or make you stay...
but life didn't turn out that way...

The day finally came, and I saw it comming on the horizen for weeks...
while I just grated my teeth and chewed the hell out of the insides of my cheeks..

I've come to blame no one but myself for the acts that I play...
I've come to blame no one by myself for the things that I say...
I've come to know no one but myself in a deeper sense..
I've come to know nothing but my lonliness defense...

12/06/2001

Posted on 12/06/2001
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