| Member Comments on this Poem |
| Posted by Melanie A Bennett on 01/08/03 at 08:15 PM Very nicely written. :) |
| Posted by Anne Engelen on 02/09/03 at 09:58 PM How wonderful how love can determine the course! |
| Posted by Charles E Minshall on 05/15/03 at 08:02 PM Sounds like she set you ablaze too Jadi. Good
poem......Charlie |
| Posted by Michele Schottelkorb on 05/12/04 at 12:41 AM i am swept away with this poem... oh, the rhyme, the flow... the mermaid... what a gem found hidden among your others... brilliant and beautiful... a new favourite... blessings... |
| Posted by H.M Stevens on 09/13/05 at 05:11 PM Tells a story as well as sings a song...the beauty of poetry, truly captured here. |
| Posted by Alisa Js on 01/05/07 at 10:23 PM Love is always a wonder and never ceases to amaze me.. as a romantic soul, I loved this one... Happy New Year to you, my poet friend.. aloha..;-) |
| Posted by Kathleen Wilson on 10/31/07 at 04:49 PM The breeze and fire from this one gives me pleasure chills. The beautiful emphatic beginnings to each stanza, "ravaged" "shackled" (to the "leg of lorn" --what a wondrous construction, as if bereftness ("lorn") was a creature or a place one is shackled to) and "broken" build to the glorious finale. The use of nautical terms, so easily come to the sailor's tongue, "spar" mast pole broken, but the word is full of glimmering overtones in itself, and also leads towards the "sextant" --which uses a star to set its course..."sextant" (love the overtones ot that of course)-- but no need for further sailing, the directional guide is tossed overboard and "mizzen" sail set fore and aft (mmm is there an echo of miss" in there? ... oh to be such mermaid that could tenderly prevent his "falling on his sword" --and inspire such dramatic abandonment. One wonders too--the higher overtones of this--the independant sailing "without crew" his bold search "for love" and the immediacy of the "set my ship ablaze" (this can mean the emblazonment of love the fiery passionate self enthralled, rather than the ship's end) as well as just that no need for sailing more-- his heart has found its landed home. Wonderfully musical, a ballad, to be memorized and set into her heart. |
| Posted by Elizabeth Jill on 09/11/09 at 12:30 PM Your rhyme and meter here is perfect like the tides, pulling me in the undertow of your story. I am partial to poetry when it wraps around me so well that my mind is lost in what's happening in the poem. Like this. jadi, I toss a kiss to your pen! |
| Posted by Joe David on 09/18/09 at 03:20 AM Excellent rhythm and beautiful metaphor. |
| Posted by Julie Adams on 03/01/11 at 06:55 PM I am glad to set my eyes upon this thanks to the random member favorites, and I can see why it is there. A pleasure as always to read your work, so tight, so rhythmic, so imagistic. Kudos, jewels |
