A person...someone...a girl...no not a girl...I can't love a girl...it's wrong...it's immoral...I hate
myself...it's just when...that day...during the softball game...I hit the ball...made it to first...then
they dropped the ball... ran to second...I look over...to the dugout...She is there...
cheering...cheering for me...A big smile...blue eyes shining...She is next up to bat...she hits...a
homerun...we both run home...so happy...I am gay? No! I'm not...let go of her...she is nice...but
you have to let go...She doesn't feel this way...she doesn't like you...not like that...just a friend not
her best...just a friend...you are a girl...you like boys...remember... John...John...the only one that
keeps me strong...have to like boys...not gils...John please help me...I hate being a teenager...I
hate changing...Why? I need help...John is the only one that can help...If that is true...I have no
hope No hope at all...If it is up to him...it is over...over forever... insensitive boys...horrible
insensitive boys John...cute...but...Oh...there are so many buts Sometimes...I just wish I'd die...No
desicions in heaven. No desicions in Hell...supposed to be Catholic...girls don't like girls...I don't
either, Right? I just don't know how to answer it...I am feeling numb. Pain...in my heart. My
family would dispose of me if they knew. My friends tease me...Not all of them. Some
understand. they still can't help me decide. It's up to 3 people Me, John, and Her. Help!

10/06/2001

Posted on 10/06/2001
Copyright © 2024 Melanie A Bennett