I lay awake staring at the ceiling above
My eyes open
My eyes closed
Feeling the breath exit my lips
Stained Red
Stained Blue
Satin sheets beneath my sweat glistened body
Your cum between my legs
My arms still bound above my head
The straps still taunt
Walking back into the room
I catch your gaze
Staring at me
With vile disgust
The blade on the table next to the bed
In your hand
Setting my hands free
I sit up to move towards you
You push me away
On the floor
I hold in my hand
Tracing along my body
Below my ribcage
Ever so gently
Scarlett
Changing my skin to rust
Cutting again
Gently
Enough to cause a flinch
Controlling that urge to feel the pain
Twice is not enough
Upon my arm I rest the blade
Cutting a bit deeper into scars that tell a story
Tasting the warm droplets
Sanctity given unto me
You can't stop me
You can't control me
You can't be me
You can't feel me
Can you live me?
Can you view what's inside my head?
Impossible for me to see
Impossible for me to be
I can't be who you view
I can't be a leader
a guide
a role model
FUCK YOU
Get away from me
Don't touch my serenity
This is ME
Appreciate it
Live it
See it
Breathe it
I won't kill me
I can't kill you
Can you reach inside?
And feel inside
and feel my pain
and hear my screams
the voices never stop
they never quit
they never halt
I spit on you
and your fucking words
and your fucking whores
and your fucking job
Take it in the ass
Day after day
Conforming to conformists
You showing me the way?
Come here my love
Let me trace this upon your skin
Outline your veins
And drink within
Prana
Energy
Life
Give it to me
I need that to survive
Survival of the fittest
Do I look fit to you
I seem fit to me
I seem INSANE to me
I watch my step
I will not falter
I know where the line ends
Down the road
I cross it

09/23/2001

Posted on 09/23/2001
Copyright © 2024 Stephanie Myers